All About Saké (and a little about wine)

How Saké Is Made

Saké is a rice wine. Rice grains have a dense packet of starch in the very center, while the rest contributes very little to the flavor or quality of the saké. Therefore, before the saké is even brewed, the rice that will be used for it is milled so that only the starch packet in the center remains. The more of the grain which is milled away, the higher quality the saké. Some saké brands may even indicate the milling percentage on the bottle; this is the percentage of the original rice grain that was milled away. 60 % is considered high quality saké, though some brands can go even as high as 75 %. At that point, only a fourth of the original rice grain remains!

Though typically known or thought of as a wine, saké is brewed, much like how beer is prepared.

Pronunciation

Pronouncing the name is quite easy. "SAW-KEY"

Some other odd sounding wine names that can prove hard to pronounce:

Pinot Grigio - "PEE-no GREE-zo" (or GREE-joe)
Pinot Gris - "PEE-no GREE"
Pinot Noir - "PEE-no NWAH-r"

ends in "Blanc" - BLONK (the 'a' makes the same sound as 'a' in father)

Sauvignon - SAW-VEE-NYON

(as in Cabernet Sauvignon, a red wine, or Sauvignon Blanc, a white wine)

How To Serve Wine

Wines taste best at certain temperatures, depending on the color and type of wine. It is often surprising how much difference a few degrees in temperature can make. This is something you must experience for yourself before you really understand and start to realize how true it is.

As a general rule, the redder and/or darker the wine, the warmer it should be served. The converse is also true; the lighter the wine, the colder it should be served. Carbonated wines of any type should be served well-chilled simply due to the fact that warmer drinks go flat faster (the gas trapped as carbonation escapes more easily from warm liquid).

For red wines in particular, letting them breathe (or pouring from an aerator nozzle) also helps release the flavor better. In a non-formal setting, some people prefer to suck air while tilting the head slightly forward, yet another way to aerate your wine. You can also swirl the wine around in the glass.

Here is a chart showing the five basic wine types, and how to best store, prepare, and serve each one. There will always be exceptions, so knowing your wine helps a lot. This chart should help for the average consumer who doesn't have a special wine refrigerator that can be set to certain temperatures. Most charts only show temperature, which the average consumer would have no simple way to test or store their wines at.

Wine Color/Type	Store	Prepare	Serve
White/Champagne/Saké	Chilled	Serve immediately	Chilled
Pink	Chilled	Let warm slightly	Mostly chilled
Red	Room temperature	Chill slightly, aerate or let sit out	Slightly chilled
Dark red	Room temperature	Aerate or let sit out	Room temperature

Note that after opening a bottle, if you don't drink the entire contents and plan to store the rest for later, it should be chilled from that point on, regardless of its type. However, this doesn't change its ideal serving temperature. That means for red wines, you must now leave the wine out of the refrigerator quite a while before it can be served at the proper temperature.

Serving Glasses/Cups

The type of glass can also have a great effect on the experience of drinking wine of any type, including saké. Here is a chart showing the type of wine, what type of glass to serve it in, and why.

Wine Color/Type	Serving Glass/Cup	Reason
Saké	Very small saké cup Masu (small wooden box)	Traditional Chilled saké is typically served in tiny cups, while warm saké is served in a box (masu)
White/Pink	Small or medium glass	Smaller glass absorbs less heat from hands and keeps drink cooler longer (holding the glass by pinching the stem with two fingers helps as well)
Champagne/Sparkling	Flute-shaped glass	Helps it to remain carbonated longer (less surface area exposed to air)
Red/Dark red	Large, bowl-shaped glass	Helps the wine to breathe and aerate Allows pouring a full serving of wine while filling the glass less than halfway, which makes for easier swirling/aeration

How To Serve Saké - Warm or Cold?

Like white wine, saké is best when served chilled. However, saké is one of the few alcoholic drinks that can also be served warm (not room temperature but warm like hot cocoa). Chilling a drink generally improves flavor and enhances taste, while heating can hide imperfections (and also flavors). Basically, if you've tried saké warm and enjoy it that way, there's nothing wrong with it. However, beware of using up good, high quality saké this way without getting to enjoy the full complexity of its true flavors. In general, cheap saké tends to be better for serving warm, and medium to high quality saké is best served chilled.

Why Dishwashing Machines Are Useless

As a single guy, with no dependants and able to last a couple weeks even on my meager amount of dishware, I find dishwashing machines to be utterly useless. I can understand how, for a family of four or more, it might be a time saver, at the very least. Even in that instance, I think there is something to be said for washing your own dishes, by hand.

First, dishwashers seldom actually work. Most of the time, I've found that they only melt the grime into your plates and bowls all the more. What else would you expect? It sprays boiling hot water at them for over an hour! You never hear of any production machinery that does that. What kind of product would require tiny bits of stuff melted onto its surface?

That brings me to my second point - it takes far too long. I could wash my own dishes by hand in a fraction of the time it takes the dishwasher, and with a fraction of the water usage.

Not only does it use a lot of water (which is a real waste due to my first point), but then you have the electricity bill for the device itself. An hour of water pumps running and inner machinery rotating - almost like a dam, only it's not self-sufficient. Quite the opposite!

Finally, it can actually damage your dishware. Anything placed improperly, or anything not specifically labelled as dishwasher safe, can likely be damaged. Boiling hot water spraying glass objects around at a high velocity? What could go wrong?

Thus, count me in favor of manual dishwashing. The irony here is that you'd think I've never been a dishwasher (because if I had, I'd be ready to let a machine do it for me, right?) However, aside from my current career (just over two years in IT as a programmer) my most common job was actually a dishwasher. I had more experience at dishwashing than anything else when I started my current programming job. This is coming from an experienced dish pit worker.

Just What Is A Duckroll?

You've probably heard of rick rolling - if not, you aren't missing much. In fact, it's probably better that you don't know first hand - it's meant to be an unpleasant experience. Basically it's a bait-and-switch; you are lured into clicking a link to a gameplay video (that really couldn't exist yet anyway) or something that many people would quite obviously be searching for, given the season or particular circumstances.

Instead, you're greeted (after the fact) with a video of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" music video. Why was this particular video chosen? you might wonder. That is, if you weren't fuming with frustration or deluged in disappointment over the deception.

However, far fewer people have heard of the elusive "duckroll" and still fewer know of its relation to rick rolling. I find the story to be a fascinating and amusing one, and thus, felt obliged to share it.

It started with a rogue forum parser bot. I won't even mention the forum name as it's one of those that is better left unmentioned. This bot apparently took a liking to the word "duck" and an intense dislike to the word "egg" and decided, of course, to replace all instances of the latter with the former.

Somewhere on this forum that day, there must have been some instances of the word "eggroll" which were then changed to "duckroll" purely by mistake. Or as much as you can attribute something as inane as changing "duck" to "egg" as a mistake in the first place. Regardless, it did happen, and some people found this funny.

Not only did they find this funny, they felt compelled to spread the glee, but not in the way that it would occur to most of us. No, whoever began this strange meme (admittedly, the phrase "strange meme" is actually quite redundant; forgive me an unrestrained chuckle) decided that they should load up MS Paint and hack together a picture of a duck on wheels.

The craziest part is that it didn't end there - far from it. That picture was only the beginning. For most of us simpletons, the mere image of a duck on wheels would be enough to warrant placing it as our desktop background and laughing about it for several months, if not more. However, rather than be content with its value purely as humor, the image's creator imagined for it an even greater purpose - irony. Just as discretion is the better part of valor, irony is the better part of humor.

But I digress. This potentially-amusing image was then used for something very un-amusing; displaying it whenever someone clicked a link to a hot topic or something nearly everyone would be quite interested in. Some time later, the idea was changed to use Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" music video instead of an image of a duck on wheels, and of course, the name changed along with it.

Whether you like egg rolls, hate rick rolls, or both, I hope I've helped enlighten you somewhat to the nature of this odd meme, and perhaps made you more wary of it. My goal was to brighten as well; I try to present things in as interesting or funny a manner as possible, particularly on this blog. If I accomplished that with this post, even better. If not? Then move along. These clearly aren't the droids you're looking for.

The Most Sour Drink In The World

I thought I'd post my first food-centered topic: the most sour drink in the world!

One possible downside is that I may be the only person who would ever actually enjoy drinking this. It originated many years ago when my brother and I were kids and came up with an early, less flavorful version of this. Surprisingly, it was even MORE sour than the completed recipe which I'm about to share. However, as lemon juice (particularly in the quantities we were using at that time) can wear the enamel off your teeth, I decided the original was in dire need of revision.

There is an alcoholic version and a non-alcoholic version of this drink, and it can be mixed to suit your own taste (as far as how sour to make it). Beware: if you don't like grapefruit juice, there is probably no way you will enjoy this drink, as it consists mostly of grapefruit juice.

This was formerly known as 'Wake-Up Juice' from the scene in Back To the Future 3 where Doc needs woken up with some. I still call it that, but I fear it could be copyrighted! Therefore let it be known henceforth as battery acid (or, the most sour drink in the world).

The Most Sour Drink in the World (non-alcoholic)

2 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. lemon lime salt (the kind you can get at a 7/11 - Twang is fine, but any variety will do)
3 - 5 oz. grapefruit juice

Add lemon juice and lemon lime salt. Stir until salt is dissolved. Add grapefruit juice to taste.

The more grapefruit juice, the less sour it will be. The less grapefruit juice, the more flavorful it will be.

Battery Acid (alcoholic)

What better name could there be for a drink so ridiculously sour and salty?

2 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. lemon lime salt (Twang or similar beer salt works)
2 oz. grapefruit juice
1-2 shots tequila; anejo or reposado varieties work best
3 dashes grapefruit or other bitters
dash of Patron (any flavor) to taste

Add lemon juice and lemon lime salt. Stir until salt is dissolved. Add grapefruit juice, bitters, and Patron (if desired) and stir well. Finally, add the tequila but do not stir. Garnish with lime slice and/or a salted rim. Amount of tequila can be adjusted to suit taste.

This one has more bite and flavor, but is not quite as sour. For less of a bite, try any brand of blanco/silver tequila. Blanco is not aged and thus has a more mild and smooth flavor, much closer to the true flavor of blue agave. Reposado and anejo are aged which gives them a more robust flavor, and more kick.

Bottoms up! Here's hoping I'm not the only one with a "sour" tooth (like a sweet tooth but for everything salty and sour).

Help! I'm becoming a spambot!

It starts with slowly losing your ability to read those capcha things in online forms. Then gradually you send shorter, more frequent emails, which increase in annoyance and spelling errors and decrease in meaningful content. Then you begin feeling a strong urge to look at the Google keyword statistics page every few minutes. You may develop an obsession with collecting vast amounts of valid email addresses. The last step is when you begin writing your blogs in raw HTML and the meta tags contain more data than the blog post itself.

Do any of these symptoms sound familiar? If they do, you may have a severe infection of spambotitis. It is a degenerative disease that slowly morphs you into a spambot until you fade into the world wide web as just another useless email / tweet factory.

Consider this post your guide to survival in a world of targeted ads and social media. Here are some pointers on how you can avoid becoming a spambot!

1. Always use your real name in your email address.

As long as your account is secure, there is really no problem with this. Change your password often, and never use the same password for two or more different accounts. If you have trouble remembering passwords, either write them down near your computer, store them in a password tracker program, or come up with a way to construct them from an idea or a phrase that you can easily memorize. It helps if you use random letters, but can still attach some kind of meaning to them that only you would know - particularly something that relates to that account or website you're creating the password for.

Using your real name will distance you from sockpuppetry, the first step towards becoming a spambot. Spambots can send emails at will because they are completely anonymous, and multiple bots may be controlled by a single person or computer. Even though your real name is more traceable, as long as you don't attach your email address to any real details of where you live or who you are, the chances of an identity theft claiming your personal information are slim to impossible. Just remember that anything you don't post online can't be stolen online!

An added bonus is that it looks much better to have john.smith24@gmail.com on a resume than johnny_baby_margaritas@gmail.com.

FYI - Sockpuppetry is the act of managing multiple accounts on the same website, pretending to be different people (especially on forums or chat boards). It's a bad practice and usually engaged in by trollers or flamers who don't want to be recognized as such by people who have previously banned them. A troller/flamer is someone who goes around the internet looking for a way to start arguments and incite drama, tension, or anger on a forum or chat board. Flame wars are just a fancy name for online arguments, though the name comes from the fact that they can be (and are intended to be) quite heated and antagonistic, usually involving swearing and belittling by both sides. You have to be very, very careful to not buy into these arguments and continue feeding the fire.

2. Remain ignorant of SEO.

The second huge step in becoming a spambot is learning about SEO, or search engine optimization. The less you know about it, the better. SEO is a spambot's world and entire life. They eat, breathe, and sleep SEO, or they aren't good spambots. Steer clear and be free.

3. Don't read or reply to spam email.

Spambots are essentially a network of computers and email servers that churn out emails day and night, generating them on the fly based on SEO, ad targeting, and information stored in each user's browser about what they look at (called cookies). Cookies are harmless little bits of info that a website uses to, say, show you ads that are more relevant to the purchases and product choices you've made in the past, or shown an interest in by remaining on certain pages longer than others. Ignoring spam email puts fellow spambots' hard work into the dumpster where it belongs.

4. Learn to write clean and concise emails/chats/tweets.

Don't skimp on your writing skill online, even for "unimportant" emails. All emails have a potential to be forwarded to someone you might not have intended to read the email. You would be surprised how impressed people can be simply by a well-written email or chat with no spelling or punctuation errors - just think of how rare those are in today's world! Often we communicate more with what we don't say (albeit, via email) than in actual, verbal exchanges. Make sure your writing skill is up to par and doesn't scream "spambot" all by itself. There is no reason not to.

5. Don't waste time on social media.

Spambots are all about wasting time. Don't cultivate a habit of spending hours trudging through tweets and Facebook, and you'll be better off. Just think of all that extra time you'll have to spend actually being productive! I suppose you could make the argument that spambots are quite efficient and productive; however, the endless spam emails they send, and the fact that 95% of them are ignored completely, makes them some of the most inefficient and unproductive programs ever written.

Disclaimer: This post is intended to be humorous, but honestly I've seen some spam emails that looked more intelligently put together than emails I knew were from an actual person. Do yourself a favor and apply some security and discipline to your online communications. You'd be surprised where it might take you!

Disclaimer Disclaimer: On the other hand, instant messaging is a different beast. It's okay to "lol" and omit punctuation in instant messages, though the general principle still applies that neater is always better. In this case I find it is more a matter of personal opinion, Twitter being a close shoe-in to IM/chat. Ironically, Twitter's 140-character limit can actually help with point 4, since you have to learn to say a lot with a little.

Do You Want What You've Got?

Kids want everything. Candy, toys, or anything that appears at first glance to bring happiness and fun. Then when they get home, instead of actually having fun, they fight over the toys. During this fight, one or more of the toys likely breaks, and the real crying begins. Then, if one of the toys was a paddle ball (and it's not one of the broken ones, or the eldest child has cleverly thought to hide it) they all are likely to be swatted with it for misbehaving. At this point, clearly no one has had any fun at all. However, from the kids' point of view, everything would be perfect as an adult since you have your own money and can buy as much candy or toys you want. And as an added bonus, you never get swatted.

Adults want everything. Cars, energy drinks, anything that society claims will lower your monthly payments or make your kids settle down (or preferably, go to sleep) and stop fighting over their toys. So you take out a huge loan on a nice house and a spiffy car. The kids wreck the house fighting over their toys, and the car gets hail damage in a freak ice storm. When everything thaws and you can finally head to the grocery store, you realize that after paying all your bills, the only thing you've got enough money left for are energy drinks. Then, you remember that they're not good for you anyway, so you decide to buy your kids another paddle ball (since the last one is either broken or hidden, and possibly both). Clearly, kids have all the fun. Man, wouldn't it be great to be young again?

There's something lacking in both these pictures, isn't there? It's peace and contentment. Despite innate desires apparently being fulfilled, neither group is happy with what they have. Instead, it's all too easy to continue buying into the lie that obtaining more stuff will bring joy. Since the first thing didn't work, why not try another? There's never an end of new "things" to choose from.

Yet it really doesn't work that way, does it? How many times has a new car, or a piece of candy, ever brought anyone true happiness or contentment? Most candy goes down in a quick gulp, and new cars eventually turn into old ones, which eventually fall apart. No, lasting contentment and peace can be found only in the act of giving, rather than getting. How many times in the past month have you stopped to reflect on what you already have? And more importantly, how grateful are you to have it? The answer to that question is a very good indicator of how happy the next "thing" that comes along will make you once you obtain it.

I will just leave you with a quote:

"Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

-Garth Brooks

Taxonomy of Music

As a disclaimer, some of this post is intended to be humorous. Don't take it too seriously and don't take any of this as my personal opinion for or against any of these genres. I've tried (maybe unsuccessfully) to keep my opinion of each genre as separate from this as possible.

This is basically my definition for each of the genres of music. I won't claim to be knowledgeable about this so if I've gotten some wrong, it's because I probably don't listen to that genre very much and/or don't understand completely what it is. Again, some of these are more facetious than realistic.

Alternative - Incorporates such variety or such a wide range of styles that it doesn't fit neatly into any of them. In one word, unique.

Ambient - Atmospheric, ethereal. Few instruments, limited but just interesting enough to keep you listening. In one word, minimalist.

Bluegrass - Like Mardi Gras, but for music, not food. Jazz, but not quite. In one word, indulgent.

Blues - A fairly standard range of chord progressions which are used to evoke sad, melancholy, or depressed emotions, though those are not the only choices, nor are they always the most prominent. They are simply the most common, and hence, the name. In one word, well, blue.

Classical - Instrumental, symphonic music. Solo piano and orchestral are staples of this genre. If it could be described with one word, I would have attempted to come up with one. But it can't.

Country - A good ol' boy's got a dog, a truck, a woman, and some booze, and he sings about them regularly. The story changes from time to time, but not the subjects of his affection. Not to discount female country singers, of course - the only difference is, no dogs or trucks. They only sing about their feelings, men, and their feelings about men. And sometimes booze. In one word, trailer hitch (that's intentionally neither one word, nor an adjective).

Dubstep - Like techno, but even more repetitive; usually one vocal sample from a famous song repeated every 5 to 10 seconds, with some odd electronic/techno noises in the background. Often combined with other genres. In one word, alien.

Easy Listening - Just simple music, quite a wide variety but usually softer instruments. Jazz is often associated with this genre and the two do go hand-in-hand quite well. In one word, cool.

Electronic - Almost no real instruments or real people playing them; mostly synthesized with lots of effects. In one word, futuristic.

Funk - Rock, with a lot more sweat and head-banging. In one word, loud.

Hip-hop - Party/dance music, stuff that instantly makes you want to start jumping up and down or waving your hands in the air. Basic tenets are: an infectious beat; lots of different instruments and sounds happening all at once; and a touch of crazy. In one word, contagious.

Jazz - Swing, a certain vibe and character to the music that can be achieved with very few instruments and even the simplest of melodies. The moods can vary, but the basic idea is smooth, flowing, and glossy. Jazz works well as either fast and energetic, or slow and pensive. In one word, sleek.

Opera - Always singing, commonly with an orchestra. It is an acquired taste (meaning you can't just listen to it the first time and like it, it has to grow on you) but once you "get it" there is nothing better. Singers that can do opera justice have the strongest voices there are. In one word, grandiose.

Pop - Halfway between hip-hop and rock, with a greater variety of sound/instrument choices and more interesting melodies. Usually has a very intense, pulsating drum beat. In one word, sharp.

R&B - Rock & Blues? Reggae & Bluegrass? Your guess is as good as mine. In one word: soul.

Ragtime - Music to work to? Always a lively tune and a catchy melody, but simple, and with an air of light-heartedness. Of course, if you're working, then who's playing the music? And if you're playing the music, then who's working? In one word: funny.

Rap - Poetry with a beat and an attitude; slightly musical poetry delivered in an intense way. Sometimes quite repetitive, and often with darker themes and moods. In one word: happenin'.

Reggae - I haven't the foggiest idea what this is (nor why I've included it).

Rock - The most standard or recognizable type of modern music; usually has guitars, a solid drum beat, and vocals, with a very high-energy vibe. Think guitar hero. In one word, energetic.

Rock & Roll - Like rock but less intense and more dramatic. (The two are very similar)

Techno - Like electronic but a lot less interesting; the whole song is basically the 30-second sample on iTunes, repeated several times, with a minor change here or there to spice things up. In one word: repetitive.