Intro Post - Bar of Salad?

A salad walks into a bar...

Did your head just explode with irony? Good. That's what this salad bar is full of, irony. If you don't like it, don't eat it!

I like strange ideas, and oddly enough they come to me quite often. This blog will be filled with them. If you don't care for strange ideas, I'd stop reading right about now. It will also contain random blabberings (or bloggerings, as it were) which is par for the course of any blog (par-don the puns and the sports analogies).

Speaking of strange ideas, one of the strangest ideas I had was for the name of this blog: Bar of Salad. You always hear about salad bars, but you never hear about bars of salad. I wonder if they would be any good? You know, a healthy snack - salad, but in bar form, like a protein bar or something. Come to think of it, it might actually taste better than a protein bar, most of which taste like flour bricks. If you haven't tried them, don't bother, unless you're trying to build muscle, and your taste buds have a death wish.

But back on salad "bars" - there would be quite a variety of possible flavors: Chef's, Caesar, Fruit, Potato, etc. Not to mention the little packets of dressing they might come with - ranch, Italian, honey mustard - and the most terrifying of all - thousand-island. Thousand-island dressing is quite gross; it's ketchup and tartar sauce. If you need to whip some up in a hurry, that's how one does it (I'm not joking, it actually IS ketchup and tartar sauce - look it up!)

Here's a random joke, and one of the best I've come up with (but I doubt I'm the only one to have come up with this same exact joke):

Have you heard of those new Serious Pills?

Directions on the bottle read "Not to be taken lightly."

Cafeteria food is often quite interesting. Well, actually, it's not. In fact, it never is. Hearing the very word "cafeteria" itself often brings on grotesque mental images of those mysterious multicolored bits infesting the tuna, and nausea. Webster's should officially change the word to "yucketeria" as that would be a more accurate rendering of the old English words "caffeine," "tear" (as in 'tear up your stomach' or 'makes your eyes tear up' - your choice) and "diphtheria," from which the word "cafeteria" originates.

Really, the best you can do is to find even a single menu item you can stick with and at least have something nearly edible to keep you from literal starvation. It doesn't have to be glamorous - it can even be quite disgusting. As long as it's better than half of the food there, it's saved your lunch (and in more ways than one). What you're looking for is the one item that is consistently mediocre - bad enough that it doesn't cost much, but still substantial enough to fill you up, and maybe go somewhat beyond "barely palatable" in taste quality. That last point is pushing it, though. The bottom line is that you can always count on it when nothing else looks like actual food. Once you find this 'usual' you're good to go.

One last thing - what do you call a plot of land that is average in quality? (hint: one of the words in the last paragraph is one letter away from the answer)

A mediacre.